Goodbye To A Year We'll Never Forget
It’s been a hell of a year, and if you’re reading this I just want to say I’m really proud of you. Like really really proud. I don’t know what you went through, what demons you battled or what heartbreak you endured -- but you made it and you’re still beautiful through it all.
I should’ve known 2020 was going to be trash when we lost Roo in week one. Then it seemed like it was one disaster after another. I remember watching the live COVID tracker in the beginning of the pandemic and being terrified when we had 9K cases…if we only knew. So many of us lost jobs, family members and stability. Chadwick, Kobe and Gigi, John Lewis, George, Breonna, Pop, Naya and so many others. We screamed Black lives matter. We witnessed so much heartbreak on a daily basis and that’s simply not normal. We’ve all lost something, maybe even parts of ourselves. I definitely lost some sanity and part of my ass from not working out.
When I look back on the year, I can’t believe it all actually happened to be honest. I was unemployed then got reemployed. I faced some dark realizations about myself. I struggled to find the right words to communicate my feelings to my partner (shouldn’t this be easy?). I think I can count on one hand the amount of times I put on a bra. I spent the last year of my twenties trying to find ways to entertain myself from our 900-square-foot apartment. But at the end of the day, I still have my health. My family is OK. And there were still some really good things that came out of this year.
We adopted two fur babies. I paid off my credit card debt. I started therapy!!! I’m almost finished with my 12th book of the year. Tr*mp LOST! I was able to see my best friend get married. I just signed up for my first coding class because let’s try new things in 2021. I spent days on the beach with some really great people. We found moments of escape. And we finally have a vaccine.
If there’s one thing that came from 2020, it’s that life quite literally moves on its own time and doesn’t give a shit if you move along with it, if you’re mentally OK or even alive. It keeps going. I don’t want much of this next year other than to keep becoming a better version of myself. A better friend, a better granddaughter, a better partner to the person I love so much. Time is so limited and I’m almost 30. How did this happen?? I want to spend the next decade more in touch, more sober, more involved in politics and *actually* advocating for a more equitable world.
If you even made it out of bed to put on fresh underwear and socks this year, I’m considering that a win. Take care of yourself in the months ahead while we continue to make it through this pandemic. And for god’s sake keep your mask on until then! Love you all. xoxo