How I Survive My LDR
Ahhh, LDRs (long distance relationships). If you're in one now or have ever been in one, you know it comes with its struggles with a capital S. Since I've been in one for what seems like eternity, I thought I'd finally share some of my personal journey and what has helped me most when trying to survive a LDR.
I used to always say I didn't believe in long distance. That I know different strokes work for different folks, but me? I couldn't deal with that. But here I am in a four-year relationship that's been long-distance for over half of that. Let me give you a little background.
Austin and I started dating in November 2014 and shortly after, he moved to Charlotte. We did the long-distance thing for about a year until he got transferred to Raleigh and I decided to join him. Shortly after that, he was transferred back to Charlotte so we moved again but about a year ago, he got an awesome offer on a new career path in ATL. He took it but I decided to stay in Charlotte because I had a great job, liked the city and it wasn't right for me at the time. So here we are. My life has consisted of lots of FaceTime calls, drives up and down I-85 and comical attempts to simultaneously watch Netflix shows. I have proved myself wrong these past fews years, though. I can, in fact, do long distance. But it hasn't been easy.
Here's how I manage to stay sane.
This one might sound cliche, but working out has always been my #1 stress reliever. When I moved to Charlotte, I immediately joined ClassPass and it got me out of the apartment, into new studios all while giving my endorphins the boost they need. When I'm stronger physically, I somehow feel stronger emotionally.
Finding a schedule that keeps me busy
Speaking of working out, having a busy schedule is key. I plan workouts throughout the week, I recently joined a book club and I try to schedule happy hours/dinners/lunches with friends to keep me busy. When you have a lot going on, you tend not to dwell on the fact that you're missing the shit out of your boyfriend.
Lots of FaceTime
Listen, you gotta do what you gotta do to make it work. Text, FaceTime, Skype - download all the things and keep in touch in all the ways that work best for you. We both have super busy schedules so we don't even get to talk on the phone many nights. Time just slips away and then before we know it, we're both drained and getting into bed. But communication. is. key.
I bitch to my mom so much it's unreal. Whether it's about the roach I found in my apartment or how my job is stressing me out, she literally takes it all like a queen and never gets annoyed. I only have limited time with Austin, and limited time to talk to him each day, so I don't want to spend it venting and complaining (I'm making myself out to be really negative but it's only every other day!! :)). Of course I tell him everything but it's important to have people outside your relationship to talk to as well.
All this being said, we've really had to find what works for us (together and individually) to keep this love train going. There have been bad days and worse days but I wouldn't trade it for anything and I always remind myself of the end game - that this isn't forever. Everyone is different but it definitely takes extra effort and patience. When you have a person you know is worth it, you do whatever to make it thrive.